As We Forgive Others

Forgive = apheimi = forgive, forsake, lay aside, let alone, omit, put away, remit, yield up

Debts = opheilema = something owed, a due, a fault, a debt.

If we think of debts in Old Testament terms, we need to think of a one for one exchange. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. If one is taken, one is replaced. We must always keep the balance through an equal exchange. But in a broken and fallen world, if we maintain this system of justice, we only end up with an eyeless and toothless society. We will never be able to offer an equal exchange for all of our wrongs. And so we end up with a debt. We owe more than we could possibly give. We owe more trust, more truths, more moments, more assurance than we could ever offer. We have offended more times than we could ever repay.

It sounds bleak. It sounds hopeless. We cannot repay what we owe, our fate cannot be good. And if we were left to our own devices, it wouldn’t be. If justice were executed based on a one for one exchange from what we can give, there would be no justice. We would be tirelessly working to set right our wrongdoings.

Fortunately, it isn’t left up to us. Instead, we have a benevolent and merciful God who looked down on the depravity of our situation and instead of feeling anger, God felt compassion. God saw how weak and inept we are and chose to intervene on our behalf. God, through Christ, paid the price. God paid the debt, so that we might be free to live in reconciled wholeness. God liberates us through Christ’s blood. The price is paid on our behalf. All of the eyes, the teeth, the truths, the moments, and the trust are restored through Jesus.

God empowered Jesus to pay on our behalf so that we might be free. Jesus offers pardon. He offers freedom. He lays aside what we owe so that we don’t have to be consumed paying for our sins. And so, even today, we turn to Christ for that freedom from sin. We turn to Christ for the payment of our transgressions. We turn to Christ for the power to forgive. And he offers it freely. But he doesn’t just offer it to us so that we might use it, but also so that we might give it. Christ empowers us to go and do likewise. We are called to action. We are called to forgive using the power God gives us through the blood of Christ.

God is ultimately the one who pardons us and forgives us. But scripture also tells us that Christ has the power to forgive and so do we. We have the power to forgive or to hold the debt. That power now lies with us and because of that we must use it. God has gifted it to us and we must use that gift.

We have the power to forgive! And as we look at the New Testament scriptures, we find that our forgiveness is contingent upon the forgiveness we offer others. “As you forgive, so you will be forgiven.” Whatever forgiveness we offer is the forgiveness we receive. That’s huge. And a bit uncomfortable. We want to be forgiven after all and we generally tend to think we are forgivable, but there are some folks who aren’t so forgivable. They have done horrible, ugly things that we see as completely unforgiveable. So how on earth can our forgiveness reasonably be tied to theirs? Forgiveness is a gift from God, a gift we are called to share and not to hoard. The more forgiveness is offered, the more it multiplies and can be offered. True freedom is not when just one has liberty to walk about and be in the world as they choose, but when all of us do. If all of us were imprisoned and only one were released, what would be their freedom? They couldn’t shop. Couldn’t travel very far (not without someone to drive the bus, or deliver the gas, or fly the plane). That person couldn’t have friends over for dinner, or enjoy a night at home with family. The enjoyment of their freedom is contingent upon the freedom of others. The same is true with spiritual freedom. If only one of us is set free, we cannot truly enjoy that freedom. For us to profit from the freedom gained, we must be freed alongside others. We must use our freedom to liberate them as well. We have the power, by offering forgiveness, to have other people join us. We can be selfish and hold onto our freedom for ourselves. But by holding onto it we will continue to be isolated and will fail to profit from the blessings of community and collaboration.

So, if forgiveness is such a blessing, why don’t we do it more often? Forgiveness is hard. Often our wounds go very deep. The hurt we feel or the shame we bear weighs so much that we can’t hardly move it to even place it at the foot of the cross. Sometimes, holding resentment feels good. We want the other person to be punished and so we relish the thought of their demise. Or maybe it’s personal and we can’t see anyway anyone could ever forgive us for what we’ve done and so we hold onto the shame we feel. We aren’t sure we want to be forgiven because we don’t believe we deserve it. Often fear prevents us from forgiving. We are afraid of being hurt again. We are afraid that if we give away what we have that there will not be enough left for ourselves. We hold back not knowing what the future will hold or what the consequences, for good or for bad, will be.

But the thing about the gospel is that forgiveness is possible even when it seems impossible.

Everyone has gone through something. We all have sins to forgive. We have been betrayed, disrespected, neglected, abused, abandoned, lied to, mistreated—for some it has been a coworker, for others their children, for others spouses, for others church members and for other friends. We have all been hurt by someone and they need forgiveness. They need pardon. They need to know that their misdeeds aren’t hanging over their head. They need to be free from the anxiety and insecurity of the relationship. And we can offer that to them.

And we need it too. We are not only the offended, but also the offenders. We have lied, been disrespectful. We have betrayed trust. We have neglected those we care about. We have been selfish and self-centered. It’s the nature of being human. We are broken and we sin. And we need forgiveness. We need to be free from the weight of guilt and shame. We need to be free from the anxiety and fear that our sins will come back to haunt us. We need freedom. We need forgiveness.

Sometimes we have people and situations in our lives that are impossibly hard to forgive. We are continually batted around or hurt and every time we feel close to forgiveness, something new happens. We are betrayed again, hurt again, rejected again. And we feel like there is no hope. It seems the person will never change and things will never get better. And when forgiveness seems impossible, we must remember that the power to forgive is not our own. The power to forgive comes from God. Yes, we are called to use it, but the source of the power is above us—beyond us and can handle the situations that are beyond us as well.

We are given the power to forgive not so we can be deemed merciful and generous, but so that God might be glorified. In simple situations, where we offer forgiveness, it can be easy to take the praise for being merciful, but when a situation is impossible, we have no choice but to thank God for the freedom and forgiveness we experience. To offer true and profound forgiveness we must turn to God as the source of all mercy.

If we need more forgiveness to offer, then we must go to the source. God will continue to supply grace, power and forgiveness enough for all of us. But we have to be willing to get it from God and share it with others. We must be willing to think outside the box, to risk losing in order for others to benefit. Like many things in our Christian journey, forgiveness only seems easy. It is simple in our heads, but as a lifestyle takes work and much practice. Forgiveness can take time. Some wounds may take years to heal, but freedom from guilt and shame and anger and resentment are available now. They are offered freely and abundantly through Christ. But we must accept it. And we must share it.