As We Forgive Others

Forgive = apheimi = forgive, forsake, lay aside, let alone, omit, put away, remit, yield up

Debts = opheilema = something owed, a due, a fault, a debt.

If we think of debts in Old Testament terms, we need to think of a one for one exchange. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. If one is taken, one is replaced. We must always keep the balance through an equal exchange. But in a broken and fallen world, if we maintain this system of justice, we only end up with an eyeless and toothless society. We will never be able to offer an equal exchange for all of our wrongs. And so we end up with a debt. We owe more than we could possibly give. We owe more trust, more truths, more moments, more assurance than we could ever offer. We have offended more times than we could ever repay.

It sounds bleak. It sounds hopeless. We cannot repay what we owe, our fate cannot be good. And if we were left to our own devices, it wouldn’t be. If justice were executed based on a one for one exchange from what we can give, there would be no justice. We would be tirelessly working to set right our wrongdoings.

Fortunately, it isn’t left up to us. Instead, we have a benevolent and merciful God who looked down on the depravity of our situation and instead of feeling anger, God felt compassion. God saw how weak and inept we are and chose to intervene on our behalf. God, through Christ, paid the price. God paid the debt, so that we might be free to live in reconciled wholeness. God liberates us through Christ’s blood. The price is paid on our behalf. All of the eyes, the teeth, the truths, the moments, and the trust are restored through Jesus.

God empowered Jesus to pay on our behalf so that we might be free. Jesus offers pardon. He offers freedom. He lays aside what we owe so that we don’t have to be consumed paying for our sins. And so, even today, we turn to Christ for that freedom from sin. We turn to Christ for the payment of our transgressions. We turn to Christ for the power to forgive. And he offers it freely. But he doesn’t just offer it to us so that we might use it, but also so that we might give it. Christ empowers us to go and do likewise. We are called to action. We are called to forgive using the power God gives us through the blood of Christ.

God is ultimately the one who pardons us and forgives us. But scripture also tells us that Christ has the power to forgive and so do we. We have the power to forgive or to hold the debt. That power now lies with us and because of that we must use it. God has gifted it to us and we must use that gift.

We have the power to forgive! And as we look at the New Testament scriptures, we find that our forgiveness is contingent upon the forgiveness we offer others. “As you forgive, so you will be forgiven.” Whatever forgiveness we offer is the forgiveness we receive. That’s huge. And a bit uncomfortable. We want to be forgiven after all and we generally tend to think we are forgivable, but there are some folks who aren’t so forgivable. They have done horrible, ugly things that we see as completely unforgiveable. So how on earth can our forgiveness reasonably be tied to theirs? Forgiveness is a gift from God, a gift we are called to share and not to hoard. The more forgiveness is offered, the more it multiplies and can be offered. True freedom is not when just one has liberty to walk about and be in the world as they choose, but when all of us do. If all of us were imprisoned and only one were released, what would be their freedom? They couldn’t shop. Couldn’t travel very far (not without someone to drive the bus, or deliver the gas, or fly the plane). That person couldn’t have friends over for dinner, or enjoy a night at home with family. The enjoyment of their freedom is contingent upon the freedom of others. The same is true with spiritual freedom. If only one of us is set free, we cannot truly enjoy that freedom. For us to profit from the freedom gained, we must be freed alongside others. We must use our freedom to liberate them as well. We have the power, by offering forgiveness, to have other people join us. We can be selfish and hold onto our freedom for ourselves. But by holding onto it we will continue to be isolated and will fail to profit from the blessings of community and collaboration.

So, if forgiveness is such a blessing, why don’t we do it more often? Forgiveness is hard. Often our wounds go very deep. The hurt we feel or the shame we bear weighs so much that we can’t hardly move it to even place it at the foot of the cross. Sometimes, holding resentment feels good. We want the other person to be punished and so we relish the thought of their demise. Or maybe it’s personal and we can’t see anyway anyone could ever forgive us for what we’ve done and so we hold onto the shame we feel. We aren’t sure we want to be forgiven because we don’t believe we deserve it. Often fear prevents us from forgiving. We are afraid of being hurt again. We are afraid that if we give away what we have that there will not be enough left for ourselves. We hold back not knowing what the future will hold or what the consequences, for good or for bad, will be.

But the thing about the gospel is that forgiveness is possible even when it seems impossible.

Everyone has gone through something. We all have sins to forgive. We have been betrayed, disrespected, neglected, abused, abandoned, lied to, mistreated—for some it has been a coworker, for others their children, for others spouses, for others church members and for other friends. We have all been hurt by someone and they need forgiveness. They need pardon. They need to know that their misdeeds aren’t hanging over their head. They need to be free from the anxiety and insecurity of the relationship. And we can offer that to them.

And we need it too. We are not only the offended, but also the offenders. We have lied, been disrespectful. We have betrayed trust. We have neglected those we care about. We have been selfish and self-centered. It’s the nature of being human. We are broken and we sin. And we need forgiveness. We need to be free from the weight of guilt and shame. We need to be free from the anxiety and fear that our sins will come back to haunt us. We need freedom. We need forgiveness.

Sometimes we have people and situations in our lives that are impossibly hard to forgive. We are continually batted around or hurt and every time we feel close to forgiveness, something new happens. We are betrayed again, hurt again, rejected again. And we feel like there is no hope. It seems the person will never change and things will never get better. And when forgiveness seems impossible, we must remember that the power to forgive is not our own. The power to forgive comes from God. Yes, we are called to use it, but the source of the power is above us—beyond us and can handle the situations that are beyond us as well.

We are given the power to forgive not so we can be deemed merciful and generous, but so that God might be glorified. In simple situations, where we offer forgiveness, it can be easy to take the praise for being merciful, but when a situation is impossible, we have no choice but to thank God for the freedom and forgiveness we experience. To offer true and profound forgiveness we must turn to God as the source of all mercy.

If we need more forgiveness to offer, then we must go to the source. God will continue to supply grace, power and forgiveness enough for all of us. But we have to be willing to get it from God and share it with others. We must be willing to think outside the box, to risk losing in order for others to benefit. Like many things in our Christian journey, forgiveness only seems easy. It is simple in our heads, but as a lifestyle takes work and much practice. Forgiveness can take time. Some wounds may take years to heal, but freedom from guilt and shame and anger and resentment are available now. They are offered freely and abundantly through Christ. But we must accept it. And we must share it.

Our Father in Heaven

Memorization can be a good thing because when we memorize something it becomes natural and engrained in who we are. We can do it without thinking because it’s so much a part of who we are. It can be like tying our shoes, or riding a bike, or even driving a car. Remember back to when you learned to drive a car. When you first started driving you focused on every detail…every little thing you do has to be thought about. But once we have enough practice, we don’t have to focus on all the details. We can just drive and it becomes more relaxed, simpler. Right?

It can be like that with our faith life too, including this prayer. At first it can be awkward we have to focus on all the details and the exact words. It can be cumbersome and difficult because we have to focus so hard. But once we memorize the prayers and train our mental muscles, we can pray the prayer without thinking. It becomes easy and natural, second nature to us.

All of those are good things. The trouble comes when it is so natural that we never think about it. Think back to the driving analogy…have you ever been driving for awhile, or on the same roads you always drive that you can’t even remember driving a certain section of road or how you got from A to B? Your driving became so natural that you have no recollection of the details? It can be scary to realize that you have no idea where you just drove or what you saw…being an auto pilot is simpler, but not always safer…we need to be aware when we drive, right?

Well, we also need to be aware when we pray. We need to be intentional about talking with God. When our prayers are automatic, we risk losing sight of what we are actually praying. We can lose intentionality, focus, and meaning.

So, this month, we are focusing on the Lord’s prayer. We are going to go one line at a time to try and refocus on the words Christ taught us pray. My hope is that we will snap back to attention when we offer this pray, even when it is easy and natural, that we would still invest ourselves in speaking and meaning the words of this prayer.

Today’s line is: “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name.”

The first word of this prayer reminds us of our communal life…Our. It’s not “my”. Simply by choosing “Our” we are reminded that we are called to be a part of community. We are able to have an individual faith, but we are always called to the collective life together. Does anyone remember why?

• Accountability
• Support
• Only way we can truly grow in love (we aren’t stretched to love or be patient or forgive if it’s just us)

The second word is “Father”—sort of obvious in the sense of a parent, a giver of life. But in the cultural sense of Jesus’ day, the father was the tradesman and the sons would learn that same trade. In essence, they were to grow up and do their father’s work. So, when we call God father, we don’t just think of a giver of life, but we also should see a role model who should be mimicked. In essence, we should grow up to do God’s trade, to do God’s work.

· Forgiveness

· Inclusion

· Justice

· Mercy

· Compassion

The last part of that line is: “who art in heaven”—this underscores where God is, and that God is distinctive from us. We dwell on earth, but God dwells in heaven. But heaven in this sense is both the ethereal heaven, and it is defined in the Greek as the gospel. In other words, God dwells in the good news…Gospel meaning Good news…the good news of forgiveness and redemption. God is present wherever there is Gospel. And in that sense, God is with us. God has a place in the heavens, a dwelling place distinctive from our own, but God also has a place in the midst of us….wherever there is Gospel…life, and truth, and compassionate community, God is there.

The next line begins “Hallowed”…which means to make holy, to purify, or to consecrate. When I looked up the Greek I was a bit surprised…I guess I have always heard “hallowed be thy name” as a statement meaning “your name is holy”, but in the way Hallowed is defined in the greek, it’s more like, “may your name be made holy” “may it be sanctified”. I don’t know if you hear a difference there, but what I hear is that we have desecrated the name of God and it needs to be redeemed. It reminds me of the third commandment, “thou shalt not take the lord’s name in vain”—that isn’t just a caution not to curse, that is a reminder that God’s name is powerful, and that that power should not be taken lightly. Like we shouldn’t shout “fire” in a crowded theatre, we should not call upon God’s name in frivolous or meaningless ways. So, when we pray “may your name be made holy”, I hear a reminder to us to honor who God is and to use God’s name with meaning, significance, and impact rather than in idle chatter.

In addition to simply understanding the meaning of the words, we also need to look at the bigger picture of this prayer. To start “Our Father in Heaven” helps establish a relationship between us and God. (*I feel like a need to do a side note here. We often use father language for God. And for many, that is difficult and challenging for their relationship with God. Not all of us have a healthy or good relationship with our Fathers. Some of us have been abused by our fathers, and so to call God father only reminds us of bitterness and hurt and for some, that may mean we want no part of a relationship with that kind of God. Which is understandable. I wish none of us had that kind of obstacle in any of our relationships, particularly our relationship with our father. But I also want to say, that even bearing that in mind, we need to be aware that “father” in this sense is meant to be positive. It is meant to reflect a loving and nurturing relationship, where we learn good habits and practices of love. So, if saying father is a barrier for you, think of a relationship that does signify love and care and a good model for you…whether that is mother, aunt, uncle, grandmother, best friend…and try and understand God in that way. It’s not about the word here, it’s about the relationship.