Now normally we hear this passage with calm reverence admiring the goodness and faithfulness of Mary to be chosen for such a purpose…all good and well. Unfortunately, we’ve heard the story so many times that we think, “Oh yeah, of course.” But let’s think about this for a bit.
Think about your teenage daughter, or niece, or granddaughter. Picture her in your mind. Think about her room, which is probably a pig sty, the way she scoffs at you and rolls her eyes if you suggest any wisdom or advice. The half-hearted way she does her chores, and the hours she spends doing her hair and make-up or talking on the phone or chatting online. Can you see her? Now, imagine God chose her to be the mother of the Son of God.
What’s the first thing that runs through your head? (ASK PEOPLE).
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Are you confident about her readiness to raise a child in general?
Sure of her parenting skills?
Convinced she’s faithful enough to raise God’s Son?
Oh, no?!?
Ok….good….now you’re starting to understand the story a little better.
Granted, women of Mary’s day would have married earlier than we do and so some of the details would have been more culturally appropriate, but still, I hope you can see how incongruent these details are.
Now, I have no doubt Mary was a wonderful young woman and that’s why God chose her, but as far as we know she wasn’t exemplary in any specific way. She wasn’t a seasoned mother of 8 who had this child rearing thing down. She was a bride to be who had no children yet. She wasn’t a scribe in training, she wouldn’t have been allowed to read or teach. We assume she was a faithful Jew, but don’t know that for sure and definitely don’t know if she stood out in any way.
But there she is-this unknown, unremarkable teenage girl chosen to bear the Son of God. That’s weird!!!
So this unknown, unremarkable, teenage girl is chosen and told she found favor with God and that God would come upon her and she would conceive a son and he would be named Jesus. Oh yeah, normal enough! This story is bizarre. Now, we can’t read this text and not deal with the virgin birth. I know you all have thought some of these questions, if not asked them out-loud, so I’m going to just say them so we know we’re on a similar page wondering about this whole virgin birth thing.
So, when it says, “came upon her”—what exactly does that mean? And how does that happen? ‘Cause I mean really, we all know our basic biology…. 1/2 chromosomes from mom, and ½ from Dad…and 9 months later you get a baby. Right?! So, this ½ from Mary….we can follow that, but then that ½ from God part….that’s a stumper. How did that work?! In seminary they had a real fancy term for it: A MYSTERY!! Profound, right?! Yep, that was Dr. Lewis Ayer’s favorite answer: It’s a mystery. Gee, thanks Dr. Ayers. You really helped to clear that one up! The trinity—three in one, the virgin birth, fully human, fully divine, all mysteries. Well, now I can sleep at night!
That has to be the most confounding parts of the whole Christmas story—how on earth did the virgin birth happen?! And the answer is: _____________________ (It’s a mystery!)
Very good. Now that we’ve cleared that up, we can go back to the logistics of this teen girl being pregnant before being with Joseph.
Now, I don’t know how well your know the biblical laws, but I’m pretty sure most of you know adultery is not allowed, and I’m going to guess that many of you know that Mary being pregnant before she was with Joseph would have constituted adultery, which was not good news for a woman. She would have brought shame on her whole family and would be unfit to marry anyone, and if no one would take her as a wife, that would mean she would be an outcast and a burden on her family forever.
It’s a lose, lose, lose situation.
And yet, that was her reward for finding “favor” with God.
I know, I know, we know the rest of the story—that her son went on to die and be resurrected and through that he saves us from sin and death…I’m not trying to deny the significance of any of that, but Mary didn’t know all that and her friends and family and gossiping neighbors definitely didn’t know all that. So there wouldn’t have been compassion and understanding from anyone.
But still, she found favor with God, even though she has to face one of the most trying social situations possible…including possible stoning?!
Sure makes you want to find favor with God, doesn’t it?!?
I mean really, when you hear the word “favor” what do you think of? (not needing a favor, but finding favor)…
(ASK PEOPLE)
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Exactly. Good stuff. Added bonuses. Answered prayers. Joyful hearts. That’s what I’d be banking on and instead Mary gets an unplanned pregnancy by inexplicable father for a child who will what…?? Oh yeah, rule forever.
Cake walk! I mean if the teenager selected to be the mother of the son of God weren’t enough, how about this: He’s gonna rule forever!
Well, that’s cool and all, but let’s talk about parenting for a moment, shall we?
Admittedly, I’m not a parent, but I work with a lot of youth and parents and one thing I’ve garnered is it’s no easy feat. Parenting takes work—heck, having a youth for two hours during youth group takes work and they often behave better for us than they will for you….so I can only imagine how tough it is to have them full-time!
And, from various parents I know—young and old, new and veteran, there are often a number of doubts:
Am I doing a good job?
Have I taught him enough?
Did I give her enough independence? Did I give her too much?
Did I mess them up? Are we going to end up on Oprah one day talking about what a horrible parent I was?!
Anybody had these doubts?
No? Yeah, I figured probably not, it must be that my friends are insecure…that’s it.
Parenting is a huge task! Probably even more difficult than marriage, which is tough enough on its own. Now, think of this—you’re not just supposed to raise your child to be a decent human being, who is successful and generally does right by others, but you’re supposed to raise your child, who just happens to be God’s Son, to rule FOREVER.
Now, it might be that I lack self-confidence, but that seems kind of daunting to me. Talk about a tough road to hoe. I’m almost 30 and I have doubts about being able to raise children well and successfully, let alone a child who is meant to rule forever. And I’m twice as old as Mary would have been and have taken children’s psychology and development and have worked with kids for more than half my life! And I’m still overwhelmed at the thought of it.
This finding favor with God deal is HUGE. And I’m not sure I’m convinced….let’s break it down: find favor with God, get to see an angel…very cool, rewarded with an unplanned pregnancy by an inexplicable father, which might just win you death by stoning…not so cool, and being responsible for raising the Son of God, who will rule forever…mind-blowing. So, finding favor with God means you get to be part of amazing things, but it also means facing incredible obstacles and being challenged by tasks just this much bigger than you thought you were capable of!
Now, I’m not saying I don’t want to find favor with God…definitely not saying that. I do want to find favor with God. But I am saying we should read this scripture casually. I am saying we shouldn’t gloss over the details. We have to understand how huge this was—not just for God becoming human, which is incredible on its own, but for what it meant in Mary’s life. God didn’t choose some overly confident, veteran mom, who trained in the synagogues on the weekends. He chose your teenage daughter, in all of her immaturity and inexperience to do one of the most inconceivable things humanly possible. God met Mary in her vulnerability. God met Mary in her naiveté. God met Mary in her doubts and fears. And God stayed with her. God didn’t come down like a stork delivering a baby and then rushing off to the next new mom, God stayed with her so she could do this. And when God comes to us, when God meets us in the middle of our inexperience, our fears, and our doubts, God stays with us too. God does not call us to an impossible task only to leave us there and watch us fail; God calls us to the impossible and walks with us, so we can be even more convinced of God’s faithfulness and power.
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