1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Text of the passage can be found here.

This is one of those passages that is so familiar it can feel redundant revisiting it. And yet, the day after a beautiful wedding and the day before Valentine’s Day it hardly seems like there could be a more appropriate scripture.

I think most of us know love takes work.  We don’t think of it that way when we are surrounded by hearts and flowers and chocolate, but when we are honest with ourselves, our partners, our families, and our closest friends, we see that loving those relationships takes work.

Communicating effectively

Forgiving freely

Listening compassionately

Compromising readily

Affirming intentionally

And loving purposefully

All take work. There are few short cuts.  And most of the time, there’s not even a direct route—only the long way around.  Love requires consistent intentional action. When real love is involved, you will stretch yourself to do more and be more for the sake of the other.

It seems fair to say that most of us understand how to love in our closest relationships.  We may not always do what is best or most necessary. We may walk away instead of having the tough conversation. We may ignore the dishes or the trash instead of helping. We may say nothing instead of acknowledging a home cooked meal or a manicured lawn or a freshly folded load of laundry. But even if we don’t do it—we know we should.  Whether we are being lazy or spiteful, we know, ultimately, that love would step up and do more. Right?

Sometimes we need a gentle nudge back to center—back to God’s call to love.  We need these familiar words:

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We need these words in order to remind us not to be selfish or rude or irritable or proud but instead to be kind, patient, gentle and persevering. And that’s all well and good for those we are close to but what about strangers?  What about annoying neighbors? Or frustrating co-workers? Or aggravating in-laws? We don’t have to do all that for them too, do we?

You know that’s rhetorical right?  Of course we do.  If we are going to live our faith fully, then absolutely those folks are included. And actually, if we take scripture seriously, then we are supposed to START with those folks not just given them the left-overs of our affection, affirmation, support, and intentionality.  Now, that’s another one of those God things that is much easier said than done.  But the scriptures are clear—anyone can love those close to them, the Christian calling means going beyond what is simple or straightforward or easy or natural for all of us and loving those we never would have thought to love. And by “love” I’m not talking about feeling love for, I mean showing love.  Love is a verb, it always requires action. We are to show love for those we never would have thought of through intentional and tangible actions. Sometimes those actions will be simple gestures, like a smile or a thank you or a genuine affirmation, and other times it will require more—accountability, vulnerability, investment of our time, energy, and talents.

So, I think we need to ground this message a bit…not just talk about it in general terms but put some flesh and bones on it so we know how to do this in clear straightforward ways.   I am very proud of this church for the ways we are intentional about reaching out to others and providing for their needs.  We provide food, clothes, showers, and shelter.  Often we help with groceries, or gas, or unpaid utility bills.  At other times we do mission projects and rebuild homes.  All of those are acts of love; they are clear intentional and tangible actions that demonstrate love.  But I’m going to say they are not enough for God’s agape love.  Not that they aren’t good or even necessary, but that God calls us to go beyond. 

Think of it in these terms, what are the standard gifts for Valentine’s day?  Chocolate. Hearts. Roses. Right? Those are the basics.  They are clear, intentional, and tangible objects that demonstrate love.  And for some, that’s just what they want. But for others, for many even, you hope for something more, right?  After a little while in a relationship, we long for something more thoughtful, more significant, more lasting. Like what?

A thoughtful card

Love notes hidden around the house, or car, or at work

A dinner out

A special evening of talking and catching up

What else?

Sure we like the chocolate and flowers, but really, our heart longs for something more.

I think the same is true of those we help.  Yes, they enjoy a hot meal, or a hot shower, or clean clothes, or shoes that fit. All of those things are valued, but in time, they wither away.  Ultimately, their hearts long for something more, too. They want something more thoughtful, more significant, more lasting just like we do.  They want relationships and connections they can rely on. They want to know they matter. They want to know they are more than a passing thought on any given day. They want someone to know their name, and then learn their story, and remember it, and ask about them and their lives time after time, just like we do.  Flowers and candy are easy in the way a hot meal is easy—yes, they take an investment of time and money and energy, but the true message of love is heard in the time spent together in their sharing of lives and stories. 

So when I say we are called to something more, what I mean is, that when we do ministry with folks, whether it’s Sunday morning, or Wednesday nights, or on a street corner, or on the Gulf Coast, or a Haitian town, we need to go deeper in giving of ourselves and learning about people.  We need to know names and faces and stories.  Not just of those we love and care for already, but of all of God’s children.  That’s a big task, I know. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be part of what we do in our faith walk.  You won’t learn everyone’s name or story at once, but if you learn one well, then you can learn two. And if you learn two, then in time you can learn 3.

This scripture challenges us to go to the next level in our relationships—all of them.  So, in addition to being intentional in the ways you love your friends and family, I want you to really think about being intentional with those we do ministry with. I want you to come to breakfast on Sunday morning, if not every week, then once a month, and I want you to sit with someone you don’t know and learn their name and learn their story.  Or I want you to join the outreach committee on a third or fourth Wednesday of the month and go to the Path of Life shelter and sit down for dinner, don’t just stay in the kitchen to serve, but go sit down and talk with people, get to know them.  You don’t have to fix their problems, just like you don’t have to fix mine or your neighbors, you can just listen and care about them and really hear them. 

We understand the basics well.  We can do those readily and easily--we can provide food, clothes, shoes and the like without much of a second thought, they’ve become natural for us here at Wesley. Now it’s time to go to the next level. It’s time to be a bit uncomfortable.  After all, not all of us are good at approaching a stranger and striking up conversation.  And for those where that conversation comes easily, taking it to the next level and sticking around to keep talking when the subject matter gets tough may be the challenge.  Either way, we are called to move beyond what is comfortable, natural, and easy and move to the next level in our relationships.  

There are other ways for us to dig deeper. I am sure you can think of other ideas.  The particularity isn’t as important as you actually doing what you are called to do.

Psalm 22

Anyone seen the news lately?

·        Flooding in Saudi Arabia (killed 10)

·        Protests in Egypt

·        Continued instability in Haiti

·        Continued conflict in Sudan

·        There were shootings in Arizona and shootings in LA

·        The economy, though “recovering”, is far from strong again, unemployment remains at 9.5% as the country’s average.

And if that weren’t enough…

·        There are problems in marriages

·        Trials in dating

·        Too much debt

·        Days of endless depression

·        Aching bones

·        Domestic Violence

·        Sexual abuse

·        Child abuse

·        Diminished retirement income for those who cannot return to work

·        We have yet to find a cure for cancer and hear of new diagnoses each week.

·        Nearly 45 years of conflict in Israel Palestine

·        Over 25 million dead from AIDS with nearly 33 million currently infected with AIDS/HIV

In other words, you look around the world, and it all seems a bit depressing these days.  We can see the world ripe with problems that seem to go on forever and we’re bound to ask, “Where is God in all of this?”   

Sometimes we need to cry out: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken us?  Don’t you care?  Can’t you hear our prayers?  Why are we still waiting for answers? 

Don’t we all have some kind of “why” question? 

Somehow, within our modern Christian faith it seems to have become taboo to question God or cry out, “Where are you? Why have you left me in the desert alone?” But it’s not taboo.  It’s not unfaithful to cry out for God.  In fact, crying out for God to help us, to answer us, is one of the most faithful things we can do.  We’re searching for God after all.

It’s scriptural even.  The Psalm wasn’t just one person’s lament.  It’s written by an individual, but the psalms became corporate prayers.  They became the laments or the praises of the people.  Psalm 22 became a lament of the people.  And not just a lament you looked up in your printed Bible from time to time when you needed it.  Bibles weren’t printed.  Heck, Bibles weren’t even compiled at that point. Instead, the Psalms were memorized.  Each person learned them and knew them by heart.  They could call these prayers to mind at any time. So, when an Israelite felt the need to lament and cry out, the words were there on the tip of their tongue: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?!” The people memorized this prayer just like they memorized the next “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want…”  It wasn’t taboo. It wasn’t unfaithful. Each of the Psalms, in the fullness of their meaning, was a prayer to God.  And each Psalm addressed a different part of life…sometimes praise, sometimes begrudging an enemy, and sometimes, a desperate cry for help.

There is no perfect walk with God where we are unscathed by the problems of the world.  We can’t hide in a hole like a hermit hoping we can avoid the horrible things that happen around us.  Sin is real. Tragedy is real. Terror is real. Sickness is real. Death is real.  They are all unavoidable realities for us.  So, why do we try and pretend like they shouldn’t?  Of course, we wish they didn’t happen.  And the hope we have is that in the Kingdom of God, all these horrible realities will be but a vague memory. But we aren’t there yet.  We’re here. We’re in this broken place full of crazy sinful people—US!

And the truth of the matter is sometimes things are grim. So let’s not gloss over it. Let’s call it like it is.  Let’s sit in the middle of the mire for a moment and have a little talk with God.  It’s not about a pity party. It’s not about drawing on our whining and complaining for days on end.  It is about expressing ourselves honestly and frankly with God.  Let’s put our hearts on the table and say,

“Do you care anymore?”

“Are you deaf?”

“Can’t you see it’s getting pretty bad around here?”

God can hear that from us, and we’re not going to get smited for it.  I’m not trying to bring everybody down, and I don’t think the psalmist was either.  It’s not that there aren’t wonderful things happening around us that are worth celebrating. But we try and hurry through the painful stuff.  We don’t even want to slow down long enough to see what is happening, which is understandable, but not realistic.  Cancer doesn’t cure in a day.  Grief doesn’t go away in a week.  Relationships don’t fix themselves, they take sacrifice and work--sometimes more work than we want to put into them.  World peace is a simple thing to say you want at a beauty pageant, but how many people realistically could create a plan for us to get there? AIDS has been an epidemic for 30 years now.  There’s no quick fix to problems this big. We can’t fast forward through them.

So, let’s slow down a minute.  Even if it hurts to see the faces of those orphaned by AIDS. Even if our blood boils that yet another loved one is hurting, yet another marriage is failing. Let’s be present here and bear our hearts to God.